Escape From Safari Zone
by Megii of Mysteri OusStranger
Summary: Ditto has a plan. Oneshot. Rated for implied death.


Escape From Safari Zone

_Ditto has a plan. Oneshot. Rated for implied death._

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The Safari Zone was a dangerous place. The pokemon it housed weren't just rare; they were wild. Not wild like the odd Pidgey or Ekans a person came across in tall grass that people walked through all the time, but _wild_, untamed, exotic, unaccustomed to humans, and _deadly_. The Safari Zone employees took good care of their patrons, did everything they could give them the most exciting experience possible while keeping them out of harm's way. But Pokemon Trainers were often daring, bold people that thought themselves immortal and the Safari Zone employees did not have eyes on the backs of their heads. Accidents happened. They were more rare than any of the Safari Zone's pokemon, but sometimes… they happened.

And the pokemon took every advantage of such incidents, particularly the Victreebels. They were known to try and capture humans and feast on the people in swarms for their evolution ritual. Rarely, but sometimes, they succeeded. This would only be the second time since the Safari Zone's establishment that the humans wouldn't find anything left of their fellow but bones.

The Victreebel hadn't killed the girl, though. She'd been too curious, leaning over the railing of her boat and fell into the water. Gyrados hadn't taken too kindly to that and thrashed and bit, killing the girl and destroying the establishment's boat as well at the Pidgebots.

Smelling the meat, scavenger pokemon began to poke around, vying for a mouthful of warm nutrients; not that any managed to, anyway. The Bellsprout, Weepinbell, and Victreebel were too numerous and protective of their catch. The yellow flowers danced joyously under the full moon. They would celebrate their evolution ritual for days or at least until the humans noticed something was wrong and came looking for the deceased trainer.

A lone Ditto, however, planned on taking advantage of this incident in a very different way compared to the other pokemon in the park. It committed the dead pokemon trainer's face to mind in the short span of time granted to it and slithered away, its pinkish-purple form melting into a Furret's long features as its sluggish pace quickened to long, graceful sprints.

Ditto would be back. This wasn't finished, not by a long shot.

* * *

Bones were strange things. Ditto had none and though it could transform itself into a being that had bones, it just didn't understand what the point of them was. It was more surprised that the Victreebels had _left_ the bones, anyway. It wasn't as if the flowers were incapable if digesting them. Perhaps it was a sadistic message to the men that caged them?

It didn't matter. It had been five or six days since the human's death, the flower pokemon's celebrating and feasting done and finished at last. Ditto wasn't here to look over some human's remains and start getting sentimental. Ditto came into Victreebel territory, discreetly disguised as a Bellsprout, for those little round capsules left behind in the grass; one of the few things pokemon couldn't and didn't want to eat.

_Safari Balls_. Twelve of them.

The human's clothing was, irritatingly enough, gone, broken down by digestive juices to frayed bits of color. Ditto had expected that. Had hoped for better, but knew that the chances of the clothing's survival were minimal at best. Oh well, it didn't matter in the long run—it had an alternative. It would be tricky, even for a shape shifter like Ditto, but Ditto had a plan.

Ditto transformed into a Weepinbell then a Victreebel and scooped the Safari Balls into its mouth. Gleeful, it hopped away with its prize.

* * *

"_No._"

Ditto glared up at the blue serpent, its putty-like body stretching upward. "_Do you want to get out of here or not?"_ The Safari Balls were held in a pair of simple, makeshift arms

Dragonair was unfazed. "_Of course I do, but I won't go in there. Besides, there are too many of them_."

"_Too… many?_"

"_Yes. Twelve of us can't escape in those at once. Human trainers can only keep six pokemon with them at a time, and if you go to the building with twelve, they'll take the other ones away_." The dragon said; its nose thrust up into the air haughtily. Dragonair would know; it was always watching those humans.

Ditto made a disgusted face, dropping all but one of the Safari Balls. "_Get in the ball, Dragonair_."

"_I said, no!_"

* * *

The plan went off with a hitch. Ditto may have been simple-minded, but it wasn't stupid. It had been easy to transform into a Venamoth, steal a Safari Ranger's keys as he snoozed away after a bout of Sleeping Powder, duck into the grass, become Kangaskhan, and finally unlock a storage shed not too far from the entrance. And if a wandering predator were to come across the defenseless human before Ditto could return, well…

The storage shed was filled with food pellets, Poke Balls, nets, potions, berries, TMs, nuggets, revives, and most importantly: spare uniforms.

Ditto wasted no time, transforming in one smooth movement and putting an outfit on. Dragonair burst from its ball, looking disgruntled.

"_Your face_,"

"Tto?" Ditto looked up distractedly.

"_You still have your face. They'll know you're a fake_."

Ditto blinked rapidly, distressed, though not at the zipper that seemed stick halfway between its belly and neck. "I forgot that human's face already—tto. What do I do—tto?"

"_Make your mouth smaller. Like a closed flower_."

Mouth narrowed and pouted out into cute pink bloom.

"_Teeth_."

Ditto grinned

"_You need a nose too. Small, kind of pointy, it has to stick out a little too, with little tiny brown spots on it_."

A freckled nose emerged, shaping what had been a flat, alien face.

"_And your eyes. More like… more like…_"

"Goldeen—tto?"

"_That's should work_."

Ditto blinked and a set of wide black eyes glinted in the moonlight, offset by rouged eyelids. "Good—tto?"

"_For now. You also need a name_."

"A name, tto? _Ditto_… _Di… tto… di_… di… didi! Deedee! My name is Deedee—tto!"

Nodding and smiling, Ditto picked up the Safari Balls and stuffed them into the pockets of the clothes along with a number of items that the shed was housing. Dragonair was not happy to return to its ball, but relented without struggle.

Ditto kept on grinning as it left the shed far behind, heavy boots tromping through the mud and grasses, bubblegum-pink hair falling around its feminine features. The guard it had put to sleep was gone, having either awakened or been dragged off by a passing Nidoking or Victreebel or Marowak or other such carnivore. Ditto's inhuman smile widened as it slipped the keys into the locks of the main building doors. The automatic doors slid open silently. Ditto walked through, out of the Safari Zone, to freedom, six other pokemon tucked safely in its pockets.

**End**

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_A/N: This has been floating in my Hard Drive for goddesses knows how long. My friend said I should post it. While I would love to turn this into a full-length fic, I'm not going to. Anyone else who wants to is welcome to it. It's actually meant to be rather humorous in nature, but well, people dying can only get so many laughs and for this bit funny just... didn't work. Deedee is totally supposed to meet Ash&Co down the road. Totally._

_Read, review, and all that jazz,_

~Megii


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